Message Board...

I would just like to start the forum off correctly by saying we were all touched by her presence in our lives and we will all miss her terribly. We love you mom...

- Patrick

When I first went over to Patrick's house for dinner (and to meet his parents), he told me to think of something to write on the tablecloth. Puzzled at first, I decided it would be good idea to have a humorous quote. "Humorous" being relative, of course. So I wrote "Roses are red, violets are blue, that's what they tell me because I am blind." (stolen from an old Far Side cartoon). Needless to say, this went over like a lead balloon attached to an anchor in a sea of syrup. Before she had a chance to embroider it, she "accidentally" washed the tablecloth... so I wrote it again the next time I was over. By that time I think Sally (and Don) "got me" a little better, and that's the story of the worst tablecloth quote ever.

- Jordan

So, I have to relate this classic story about mom to all of you:

Donna and I went over to Mom and Dad's house one night to cook for them - I think it ended up being Chicken Marsala or something along those lines. Anyhow, knowing our affinity for Garlic, Onion and Pepper, we took advantage of the chance to share our love of spices with the whole family. I admit we may have overdone it a bit on the Pepper. Unfortunately, I realized this after remembering that mom has a lot of trouble with spicy food. Being the perfectly appreciative mother though, she refused to admit that the meal was completely inedible to her. You could tell after the first bite that she was in discomfort. The second bite brought no relief, and by the third it was almost painful to watch her eat. She didn't say a word...just stared at you with that "I love you, and I am eating this because I love you" look in her eyes.

"Mom...how does it taste"?
"Good."
"Is it too peppery?
"No...it's good."
"...mom...there are tears in your eyes. Don't eat it if it's too spicy!"
"No...no...it's good."

You have to imagine during this whole time that her face is red, and her nose was running. So, THAT became the inside joke to end all inside jokes, and we applied it to everything:

"Hey mom, how was physical therapy today?"
"Good."
"They worked you pretty hard, I hear."
"It was...good."
"...too peppery?"
"No....it was good."

- Patrick

Sally was one of the sweetest ladies I've ever known. The first time I met her was at Don and her's. Right away she made me feel like I was a part of the family. She will be missed. Peace be with her.

- Amanda

Sally taught me how to cook lobsters. I'll never forget her (and Don) teasing me about how they scream when you put them in the pot. It took me years to recover from that image. Sally also cross stitched me the most amazing work of art...a bride looking into the mirror. This cross stitch hung on my wall for years and years. I'll also never forget long nights sitting up with her in her living room talking about what was happening in my life. She was a gifted listener and a wonderful mother figure in my life. What a blessing!

- Angie

Sally Pender was an amazing lady to me and I never actually met her. My husband, Len used to travel to Arizona on business, where he met Don. Every time he went to Arizona, he would be invited to come to the Penders for dinner and fellowship. When our first child arrived, we received a box filled with gifts for the new baby--all hand made by Sally. We have seven children and she neddle pointed christmas stockings and baby blankets for them all. I was amazed that such a gift would come from someone I had never met. Sally and I spoke on the phone several times throughout the years and I feel as though I did know her, but I wish I could have met her here on Earth. I guess I'll have to wait until heaven.

- Cathy Nicoletti

Sally was one of those people that did not have a mean bone in her body. She always had a smile on her face, and she always had a kind and encouraging word to lift you up. She always made you feel special, and was always full of joy. She was a loving and devoted wife and mother to Don and Pat. She will be deeply missed. I remember one day when she drove me to the airport. She was working at an employment agency. I remember her telling me that the Lord has a plan for each of us and that we need to wait on Him to work out his perfect will. I did not understand what she was talking about then, but I do now. She was angelic. Another time I visited with the Pender?s, Don literally had car parts covering all the living space in the house. She never complained about it. She used to laugh about it. Don had it good! Were going to miss you Sally.

- Len Nicoletti III. Philadelphia PA.

I first met Sally when I was 9 years old. My parents had divorced and my father was taking me to meet her. He told me that they were going to get married. He said she was beautiful and loving and that she would love me too. We met at my grandparents farm in Barneveld, NY. I remember she was sitting at the kitchen table with my grandmother, and we were introduced. I thought she was pretty and nice with a warm smile and I loved her instantly. I'm not sure who hugged who first, but we did. I don't remember much of what we talked about, but I remember her saying that she was nervous that I wouldn't like her. I thought how silly of her to think that! She let me brush her long dark hair and told me my father liked it long but what a nuisance it was!

Sally was a godsend to me at a time when I truly needed her. I loved and accepted her in my life with no question.

She always told me I should have been hers!

- stepdaughter Donna (Hyle)

And confused I was. Many years ago I had found a cross stitch pattern of 3 bears....mama, papa, and son. I thought it was so appropriate for my life. My son Kenneth was 1 yr. old and my husband was away on Military leave and I had all this time so I bought this kit...for what reason I wondered?! Oh, because I thought it was perfect for my family and of course I could do it 'cause, HEY, how hard can making "X's" be? I had embroidered in the past and did other crafts but I never did cross stitch. I knew Sal was the cross stitch QUEEN (because she had made the most exquisite Christmas stocking for my son) so of course I called her! I will always remember this because she walked me through every detail on how to do it and would not let me off the phone until she was sure I knew it! She made sure I knew what to do and said to call back if there were any other questions. I love that lady! Cross stitch to me now is second nature but I'll always remember who taught me......Momma Sal.

- stepdaughter Donna (Hyle)

It's unfortunate that Cortney and I didn't have a chance to really get to know Sally... we'd really only met her a couple of times. But in knowing Patrick, and in knowing Don, we know what a truly special person she was.

What we'll always remember is Pat and Donna's wedding. The signs were there that she was struggling, that her body and her spirit were battling the mother of all battles. But no way that was going to stop her from standing up at her son's wedding, and walk on her own two feet to light her family's candle. It was her last mile. The look on her face of pride and joy mixed with relief when she turned down the aisle back to her front row seat. The deep sigh filled with both frustration and satisfaction as she sat down. She married off her son, and wanted to send him and his bride off with every bit of her love and her courage.

May her candle never falter, may her spirit never die, and may those she touched remember her always.

- Tyson

I first met Sally, right after the birth of my daughter Christina who is now 23.Christina was a preemie and weighed 4# 11 oz when I brought her home..I was terrified...When my husband spoke to Don, (we had all worked together at that time)..Don big heartedly said that Sally was wonderful with children (Indeed she was) and they would have us over for dinner and Sally would mentor me..Well she did and I immediately loved her..Sally was there through the birth of my first child, and sat with me through tearful days and nights when my husband left me. Though the years passed and life flew by, I knew that Sally's love was always there for me. My children each have a cross stitched stocking made by her loving hands..My daughter recently gave birth to a lil boy on Sept 12..her first child..When i told her that Don had called, she said 'Two days ago I was thinking of calling Sally as I want to take the baby over so she can see him'...I had to tell her that, that day was the day that Sally passed....(Sally I hope you got to see him)....You will always be in our hearts...Sally's words that will always ring in my ears, ...'LET GO, LET GOD'...............I LOVE YOU SWEET LADY and I hope to meet again on the other side.....LOVE AND PRAYERS are with you Don and Pat.....

- Andysay

We had the Memorial service for mom on the 14th, and the Life celebration for her on the 16th. We had a great turnout at both, and we really appreciate all the people who came. If you have pictures or stories, please send them along...

- Patrick

I've known Sally for about 5 years. Unfortunatly I never new her when she was well. What a wonderful sense of humor for a lady in her medical condition. Never once did I here a complaint even when asked,she would just smile and somehow change the subject. I know she hung on to life so long for Don and Pat but now she has her just reward with our Lord Jesus Christ. When I think of her I will always remember her persaviring spirit and those beautiful eyes.

- Anonymous

I remember she would always have a box of Oreos by her chair. She was a chocoholic. I never knew what to get her for a gift at Christmas or for her birthday. Rest assured though...she would always be completely content with a 1/2 pound of chocolates from See's. That would last about a week, and then we would have to find her more somewhere!

- Patrick

She also loved seafood, especially dungeoness crab and lobster. She could pick apart a crustacean faster than the Bush campaign could pick apart Kerry.. She also enjoyed eating parts of the lobster I didn't even know existed.

- Patrick

It didn't even occur to me until we were filling out the death certificate at the crematorium that my mom spent most of her career in career placement, as an employment couselor, or as a hiring manager - my mother was an HR Generalist..before "HR" even existed! I thought it was odd, simply because I have always viewed HR as a bad omen here in corporate America. However, now that I realize my mom was one of them, I have a new respect for them. ANYHOW...she used to work at... 1) Coca-Cola 2) Litton 3) Professional Placement Inc. (PPI) 4) Tempe Christian School

- Patrick

SERVICES
There was a beautiful Memorial service held for Sally on Thursday, October 14th at 7:00pm. The service was held at Tempe Church of the Nazarene, located at the Northeast corner of Rural Rd. and U.S. 60 in Tempe, AZ.

CELEBRATION
We held a Celebration of Sally's life on what would have been her 62nd birthday, October 16th, 2004. We served some of Sally's favorite foods:

• Corned Beef and Cabbage - prepared by her son, Patrick and daughter-in-law, Donna
• Ginger Snap cookies - prepared by her sister, Cindy.

Thanks to George and Ann Messersmith for hosting this wonderful event, and thanks to everyone that came to share their memories. You made it a wonderful time that all will remember.